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sammy1

sammy1


Posts : 1070
Join date : 2007-08-16
Age : 56
Location : plymouth ,UK

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PostSubject: Shopping   Shopping Icon_minitimeThu Nov 08, 2007 2:13 pm

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so
much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!" So she says
the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man. " She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings.

Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she
asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
"WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over
a frozen hell.
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AutoTonic


Posts : 306
Join date : 2007-09-25
Age : 55
Location : Brainerd, MN

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PostSubject: Re: Shopping   Shopping Icon_minitimeFri Nov 09, 2007 7:22 am

I've seen this one before and I absolutely LOVE this joke!
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