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 Australian Kitty Tales

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Elizabeth



Posts : 7
Join date : 2007-10-16

PostSubject: Australian Kitty Tales   Fri Nov 02, 2007 10:47 pm

One of our Australian members recently had a good story to tell. I would like to share it with you now.

Annie Laughing
***************************
Scus Pls.......Please Don't Get Offended,...But I Had To Tell You
An Experience I Had With My Little Kitten...........

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top
this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate
my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the
next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the
bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I
had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me
in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent
outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
behaviour as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find
the button. It is the last action I remember performing.


Scroll Down Slowly....










It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.
No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal
teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling
objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around
the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the
precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I
unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost
all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising
at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging
from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men,
in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and
cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me
out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself
lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of
"been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were
all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while
trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back
in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of
me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to
talk about, which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?
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diacar
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Join date : 2007-08-27
Location : Chattanooga TN

PostSubject: Re: Australian Kitty Tales   Sat Nov 03, 2007 1:28 am

This is a hysterical story lol! !!

My hubby even laughed at this because he had a similar, but not quite as traumatic, experience with one of my kitten's quite a few years ago !!

Thanks for sharing this !!

Diana sunny
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sammy1

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Posts : 1070
Join date : 2007-08-16
Age : 49
Location : plymouth ,UK

PostSubject: Re: Australian Kitty Tales   Mon Nov 05, 2007 1:39 pm

i will get my hubby to read this one ,we have 3 cats and imagining one of them playing with his toy by mistake would be a rather affraid suitation lol! lol!

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theresa
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Posts : 475
Join date : 2007-08-24
Age : 45
Location : Long Island, NY

PostSubject: Re: Australian Kitty Tales   Mon Nov 05, 2007 11:41 pm

Now that is one that you can not make up lol!
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Elizabeth



Posts : 7
Join date : 2007-10-16

PostSubject: Re: Australian Kitty Tales   Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:43 pm

Too funny Sammy!!! When I first read the story I laughed for hours because he tells it so well you can actually visualize it -- now that is a tad scary. I never really thought cats would think of something like that as a toy Laughing

Elizabeth
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